With everything going on in the world today, The Associated Press — the premier wire service and news institution in the English-speaking world — knows what’s really on your mind: Is Fido’s “carbon pawprint” too big?
In yet another bid to prove that even the most supposedly objective media cannot set priorities that aren’t bad or misplaced, the AP dedicated 32 paragraphs in five sections — along with a video on social media — to the climate change dangers that your furry friend allegedly poses. Because even childless cat ladies are driving us to extinction in ways that don’t involve not having kids, apparently.
“One of the most climate intensive decisions we make is whether to own a pet,” the AP’s Caleigh Wells reported in a piece published Tuesday.
“It’s for the same reason that humans have a big impact: They eat every day. And most of them eat meat. The environmental impact of meat includes the land the animal lived on, the food it ate, the waste it generated and other factors.”
This is apparently being accelerated by a “trend toward refrigerated, ‘fresh’ or even ‘human-grade’ pet food,” with a reminder from the AP that “just like people, a pet’s impact on the planet can vary greatly depending on their diet.”
Now, amazingly, there’s a kernel of truth in here: the same ideology that has given us the archetype of the childless cat lady who foregoes kids to save the planet is still hurting the planet:
The marketing of higher-quality pet food suggests that it’s healthier.
But there isn’t much evidence to suggest refrigerated, fresh or human-grade food leads to better pet health outcomes, according to Alison Manchester, assistant clinical sciences professor at Cornell University’s College of Veterinary Medicine.
“I think a lot of it is playing on marketing and treating pets as members of the family,” said Manchester.
It’s almost like people want to have families. You will not be shocked to learn that this thread of thought goes unexplored by the AP in both the article and the video, which features pet food researcher Billy Nicholles.
In the video, Nicholles said that the problem was “their food, basically, and in particular, the ingredients in their food.”
“Dogs and cats both eat pretty highly meat-based diets,” he continued. “And what do we know about meat? It’s one of the key drivers of climate change.”
Yes, apparently those cow farts AOC was busy basing her Green New Deal off of once upon a time really add up once they become dog or cat farts, as well:
Pets have a pretty sizable climate impact. But not all carbon…pawprints…are created equal. So if you’re looking to get a pet, which ones emit the least? And if you’ve already got one, how do you make sure it has the smallest foot (or paw) print? There are some options. pic.twitter.com/T7jliUMF0d
— The Associated Press (@AP) November 4, 2025
So, how to save the planet while still keeping your pet? Among other things, stop making them fat. Seriously, we need to be told this.
“Not only does [overfeeding] mean that the dog’s going to have a poorer quality of health,” Nicholles said. “It also means that we’re increasing to those environmental impacts, as well.”
Also, you can turn your dog into a vegan, too!
“Dogs can get plenty of protein and the right balance of protein without actually ingesting any meat,” said Manchester, noting that 18 percent of an adult dog’s diet should be protein-based.
Felines, the little scamps, apparently don’t have that out.
“Cats rely more on animal products. Manchester said she doesn’t know of a balanced, commercially available vegan cat food,” the AP reported.
“That means minimizing their impact comes from choosing less pollutive meat options when possible. Beef is the most pollutive protein. Chicken and fish are lower-impact, and plant-based options pollute the least.”
I never thought I could make a good argument for owning a cat, but there you have it: They can’t become vegans. Start feeding your dog the way the AP wants you to, and pretty soon it’ll begin asking you if it’s fair trade and wondering why you don’t play more Ani DiFranco on the Sonos.
Other practical advice for reducing your pet’s “carbon pawprint” is to adopt a shelter animal, considering they already have a “priced-in” climate impact, and to get smaller pets, which make a smaller impact. If you need to be told these obvious things and actually care, you don’t need to read this article because you can’t read, period.
But then again, this isn’t what this absurd article is about. Thirty-two paragraphs and hundreds of words were wasted to chastise you, in yet another way, for existing in a manner that is both happy and healthy. If you’re alive and not miserable with guilt, guess what? You’re the problem, and you need to be wracked with guilt some more! Brought to you by the AP, which cannot be bothered to report actual news.
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.
The post Associated Press Publishes Absurd Video Targeting Pet Ownership Due to Climate Change Hysteria appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.